Raccoon Hunting

Yum Yum

Hurricanes, squeaky beds, and new neighbors

Officially met our new neighbors this evening. They have the Bibb seal of approval by calling Nike a slut in our first conversation. We didn't get their approval quite so easy however, and a certain roommate had to prove that a small wooden bed can actually fit two people. Turns out it can, but only with excessive amounts of squeaking and creaking.

Hurricane Irene hits Maine tomorrow morning. I hope it carries away Nike just like in the Wizard of OZ.

Also Charles has fleas and Vallo has Chlamydia.

6 single average penis sized men

Wow its been awhile since this has been updated. But we have had some major news and excitement over the last week or so. A summer that started with 3 single men and 3 not single men has slowly but surely turned into 6 single men. That is correct every single gentleman who lives in the Glenwood Estate is now single and looking to mingle. So ladies come on down and meet your stunningly average bachelors:

1) The first young man comes from a small town in upstate Maine, so don't ever ask him for directions (not even counting his lack of licsense). He is probably best known for his surprisingly average sized and dark penis. If your looking for someone who can't quite close the deal and has a tendency to get caught at second base alot, then this is your man.

2) Our second young boy is a newly minted 21 year old. From a small town in Vermont (for real you won't have cell service) he actually once dated the devil and came out alive. Attempting to start the trend of long, tight underwear if you wanna see his package stop on by anytime. If you need someone to whisper sweet nothings about physics then this is your man.

3) Thirdly is the other Maine-ah in the house. If you need someone to buy you tons of books on world philsophizing or Islamic politics and then not read them, step right up. Also don't expect him to cook you any Salmon. He has already cooked the worlds best Salmon and won't be able to match that performance ever again.

4) Lucky number 4 is from the same small town in Vermont. Unbelieveably good at math, he knows exactly how much he will have to work to pay for everything. Fresh teeth and an average size penis makes this man a winner.

5) This guy comes from the great state where you have 2 options either Live Free or Fucking Die. He is a twin which means while in his mothers womb he didn't eat his brother so hes automatically the nice guy and never the alpha male. Dirty facial hair and chylamida make this young man a catch.

6) Finally is just an average joe with an average sized penis from an average town in New York. But he knows black people. If you love someone who loves to bitch about anything and everything then he is your man.

My job

In recent news, my boss loves me and I am in no danger of getting fired. As far as I know. So SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Love,
Benjamin John Manning

p.s. I'm being paid to post this right now.

Charlie is better than Nike.

"Chewing Gum"

Had the first ever Glenwood Ave Pictionary night this week. Team Vermont (consisting of Ben and I) just barely fell short in a tight game against Vallo and Andrew. Both teams were stuck on the final all-play for 4 turns. Seeing as how Vallo and Andrew are known for their extraordinary Pictionary skills (also for having a dog that has diarrhea on the floor and then pisses on you when you try to pick her up), we aren't too disappointed. Ben was definitely MVP of the match though; how anyone can guess whatever the hell I'm trying to draw is beyond me. He did however repay my terrible drawing skills with a hilarious depiction of "chewing gum"
Ben, his woman, and I saw X-Men Saturday morning. Despite having a few cheesy moments it was very good. Also had another barbecue this weekend. We were planning on a bonfire too but it rained. Speaking of rain, I have to pis yet again. I am so glad I moved my bed by the window. The neighbors probably wonder why we get random rain showers on the roof in the middle of a clear night, or why there is one patch of grass to the left of the porch that always grows faster than everything around it.

The Weekend Ahead

Shenanigans?